Have you ever come to a point in your life when you just don't know where you are to go? It almost feels like your life is paused? Well I guess you could say that's where I feel like I am currently at. My life is paused and I don't know which direction to take it. I almost feel stuck, going in a straight line with no progress. I don't know what I am to do. Lately, I have thought a lot about what I am expected to do. I feel that I need to work in Sugar City for another year but then after that I feel empty. Part of it is me just wanting to get out of Rexburg. I love it there but I also feel confined. But I feel nothing about anything and it scares me. Usually I feel what I should do, but right now it's empty. I've thought of Grad School, of moving to Texas, or even moving to Utah. The nice thing is I have time. For me I really want to be a mom and I feel that's what my life calling is but at the same time I don't feel like I am ready to do so. And maybe that's why the opportunity to get married has presented itself is because I haven't developed the necessary skills to do so. I'm simply just not ready. For me I need to develop a plan and set goals to create what it would look like.
Life is great though. My parents and I had the opportunity to travel Europe for 3 weeks and that was such an unforgettable experience. From a week cruise through Baltic, to a then 2 week road trip through other parts of Europe, it was a remarkable experience. For me what I learned is just how ignorant we can be by not knowing about others. When we are confined to our own ways then we don't expand our horizons of what others see and experience. That's probably why it's so crucial that we get to know those around us and understand them and their pasts. Personally, that is a goal that I have, to get to know those around me and to not be ignorant to life.
In a separate post I will have to talk about my adventures to Europe. But overall life is great, just learning to love the journey and learning to figure out the journey. But despite it all we must learn to simply be happy and just love life to it's absolute fullest.
